Don’t trust him, trust Me.
I will restore what the locusts have eaten away.
You are mine.
These aren’t just random instructions and verse tidbits. They’re truths that triggered transformation in my life and marriage. They are the reason I’m able to write today from a green pasture rather than the valley of divorce.
Holy Spirit whispered them at moments of utter desperation when I didn’t believe this day would ever come. Despite my best effort, I couldn’t mend the unraveling threads of my marriage. My emotions constantly attacked my mind with things like:
He’s not the man you thought he was.
Things will never change.
You don’t matter to anyone.
Get as far away from him as possible.
I needed something more powerful than my own emotions to hold me—an unshakable anchor.
“God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” Hebrews 6:18-19, NLT
If you’ve been following my blog posts these last few weeks, you know that each revelation started with a whisper from the Lord. While I sought wise counsel with mentoring and community through church, it was hearing and obeying guidance from the Comforter himself that proved most powerful.
Wise counsel and community are important supporting roles in my relationship with God, but I’ve learned they can never be substitutes for it. He’s the only one who knows absolutely everything—about you, your husband, your marriage, His Word, and His plan for your life. Only God’s truth has the power to transform. He’s always with us, yet, He will only intervene if we invite Him.
Do you desire hearing specific instructions and transforming truth from the Lord for your marriage? I want to encourage you that you absolutely can receive it—if you ask.
My heart broke recently for a couple whose marriage was much like mine. A laundry list of hurts led to separation. She said that all of her church friends agreed with her choice. But when asked if she had sought the Lord, she sidestepped the answer, saying, “It’s done, divorce is the only thing that makes sense. It will be better for everyone.” But would it be? Maybe not. More importantly, was it what God would have directed? Sadly, she didn’t know, because she had reacted to her emotions, substituting community for both wise counsel and the Comforter.
“Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3 (NASB)
There is no substitute for personally seeking the Lord and spending time in His presence. When we do, He promises to answer us. The more time we spend with Him, the more we recognize His voice. No one knows and understands your situation more completely than God.
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27
It was not only receiving but also obeying those whispers from the Comforter that sustained me and ultimately turned my marriage around. Relying on my emotions would have led me astray. I would have traded God’s best for temporary relief from my pain.
I had all but signed the divorce papers when a good friend asked if there was anything my husband could do to change my mind. Our circumstances and my emotions screamed for a divorce. Yet, I replied, “Only if God says something different.” God’s word is the most powerful weapon we have. It must override every other voice.
Everything in me told me to get as far away from my husband as I could. Seeing him poured salt into fresh wounds, and I wanted so badly for him to feel the sting of it.
But God had other plans. Hug him. Embracing the source of my sorrow made no sense, so I ignored it. But the Lord persisted. Hug him. Tears dripped from my chin and my thoughts protested fiercely, but my arms reached out in obedience. In that moment—relinquishing my own understanding—something in my husband broke and the love of the Lord flooded in.
Nothing has been the same since. My hug was nothing special. But my obedience allowed God’s instruction to be truth that triggered transformation for both of us. And that transformation became a pivotal piece of the Lord’s plan for restoring our marriage.
It can be for yours too, but God’s truth can only trigger transformation when we’ve trained ourselves to listen and we’re willing to overlook our feelings and obey Him.
My husband and I still have much work to do, but we’re living in a miracle of God’s making, and it’s more fulfilling than anything we ever could have imagined.
I’m sure you know exactly how you feel about your husband and marriage, but what does the Lord have to say? Have you asked Him? Are you listening? Will you obey even if it goes against your feelings? Will you trust Him with the outcome?
“…when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.” Matthew 6:6
May I pray for you? Father God, help my sister to hear Your voice above every other. Draw her to the secret place and give her the courage to seek Your will for her marriage despite her feelings. Give her truth to hold on to that replaces the lies her emotions have told her. Thank you for being a strong and trustworthy anchor for her soul. In Jesus’ name. Amen.